I recently read something I was not expecting from someone I considered to be close to me and part of my family, to be clear, no one died. My life continued spinning around the same which it did the day before. In fact, the news itself is irrelevant to this story. What’s relevant is my reaction. I felt hurt, disheartened, and – pain.
This year has been one of the greatest and most difficult years of my life. I have learnt everything is temporary moments, feelings, pain. No state of pain stays in the same shape, at the same intensity, permanently. The good news and the bad news is that emotions are transient. “This too shall pass.” Its hard not to get annoyed at that sentence when reading it, as cliche as it is, but I’ve found it to be so true. Everything passes if you allow yourself to grow through it.
I spent a long time running from my own pain which only served and created a deeper pain in my life. As I am growing through some challenging life experiences, I am learning to not run away from the pain and hurt anymore. I am learning to not use victimisation and sadness as my closest friends. I am getting better, When I don’t do that, I experience life to the fullest.
This world wants people to mask and hide there pain, but there is so much beauty in it. No more putting band aids on the pain. I look for the gift of each painful situation. I have learnt to take care of myself and love myself through each painful experience. We will not die from the pain. We will only grow stronger and more beautiful from it. Learning that giving a shit about what other people think is a waste of precious time and energy, especially when you figure out that the only way to live is through your own truths. Stop worrying about whether people are understanding you or judging you. Because some will be and some will not be.
The ones that judge are the ones that are blinded by their own insecurities, and remember all endings are also new beginnings, we just don’t realise it at the time. Everyone has stuff, but we are not our stuff. Read that sentence again!!
Through my own healing, I have found my greatest source of strength which has created the connections with so many others who are healing too.
Our journey and our past is our greatest resourse. It is filled with so much knowledge and learning. Im sitting on a goldmine of information from my own past and I am realising I need to stop pretending like I don’t know the answers, because we often always do!
When we experience pain it always presents an opportunity for us to deepen our ability to feel more. I think it’s so important to understand pain and recognise how our brain interprets pain. I would say some of the most painful things that I have gone through in my life have been things that I have resisted feeling the pain of and created a lot of unnecessary suffering.
I think back to certain loss in my life when I was younger or disappointments that I had suffered and when I look back now on the actual circumstances of the situation at hand versus what I was actually believing and thinking, it’s actually astounding to me just how much added pain I generated on top of something that would have been a lot less painful had I not intensified it and just accepted the pain of loss in that situation.
Let pain open you up, what emerges on the other side might be more beautiful than you imagine.
Their are two types of pain, physical pain and emotional pain and it’s so important to distinguish the two you feel in the present moment.
All pain is interpreted through the brain. Our brain is designed to protect us. How we manage pain by what we create through our thoughts is so powerful in order to living a more positive life. Sometimes facing our pain is not as frightening as we think it will be. What you focus on and where you place your attention makes all the difference to how you will feel every day living your life.
Choose to rise and transform from anything in your life that no longer serves you; sometimes committing to doing what needs to be done to heal and move forward isn’t selfish it’s imperative for our own wellbeing.
What is important is that you use your pain for a purpose. You are so much more than your current situation.
We are all carrying around our own journey, and that journey is made up of little tiny journeys that are changing every second, with every experience. There is no one-size-fits- all way to express pain. Choose acceptance over pain, acceptance does not mean that you approve of the pain, like the pain or want the pain. It simply means that you acknowledge it and allow it to be what it is without judging it or trying to change it.
Reach out, touch in.